Beach Bum

Feeling burnt. 

After our frustrating day yesterday, we decided to stay one more day and enjoy the beach. 

We were up by 9am and had breakfast at the resort. Boiled eggs and toast, with some rice too. 

We got our beach stuff and walked over the road to the beach. 

It’s a very narrow beach with only about 3 metres before the sea starts. It wasn’t really the kind of beach that you lay on and certainly not in a bikini. 

We walked to the far end of the beach, in the direction we had not yet been. It curved around with the bay and it was fun to watch the tiny crabs scuttle away. 

The sand was hot so we walked with our feet in the water. It was just a relaxed stroll, not much talking but just enjoying the views. 

We reached the end, which was blocked by rocks. Eric sat down on a rock and I stood, my feet sinking further into the sand as the waves came up. 

Eric had picked up a couple of beers from the shop, but I was just enjoying a Fanta. 

He cheekily suggested we go behind the rock for some fun but I did not want to be arrested and whipped so said no! Maybe with him it would have been a different answer but who knows. 

I suggested we walked back and then over to the other bay where we had had lunch the other day. The beach there was bigger and seemed more of a tourist beach. 

It took about 30 minutes to walk there and it was pretty hot. On our way, he held my hand…awkward. After 10 seconds I made a comment about him having sandy hands and let go. 

I feel like I wanted to go on alone. He is acting more and more like we are a couple, but we are really not and never will be.

I’m finding little things that he does really annoying, and I know it’s me just being mean but now that I have noticed them I just get more annoyed. 

“Oh darn” is his favourite saying, in a really over the top sarcastic voice. He totally over uses it and now whenever he says it I just want to punch him in the face!

We have already got the bus ticket to the Cameron Highlands together, so it looks like I’ve got him for a few more days. I don’t know how to separate though without being rude. 

I don’t dislike him, not at all, but it’s just been very intense just the 2 of us. I think he is getting annoyed with me too, it’s understandable. 

We got to the beach and to our delight we found sunbeds! We laid out our towels and lay on them. Eric had forgotten his book so decided to chatter, not really needing much input from me. 

It was really hot and although I had suncream on, I was worried I was burning. After a few hours I moved my bed into the shade and spent a couple of hours updating my blog. It was so nice and relaxing. 

Eric went in and out the sea, staying in the sun all the time. Whilst in the sea he started chatting to a Dutch girl who was interning here. 

About 4pm he came over and we were both starving so we went to Daddy’s Cafe for some late lunch/dinner. 

I got a table in the shade and we ordered. I had a chicken stuffed pita and chips. 

Whilst we were waiting, Kieron and Kylie came onto the beach. They were surprised to see us as we had said goodbye to them last night as we had thought we were leaving. 

They joined us and again we spent hours chatting and laughing. We all had dinner and then carried on talking. 

The kids were getting restless and so they left to have a swim. We said we would be on the beach later if they fancied a beer. 

After a moment we walked back too and got changed out of our beach stuff. We got some beers from the shop and sat on the beach in the dark. 

I put on some music and we were so relaxed. The sun disappered and we sat in the dark. We were discussing our favourite memories, a day in our life we wish we could live again and other random nostalgic things. It was nice to hear about him growing up and speak with such love about his family. 

We were both getting bitten by sand fleas and so we escaped to the chalet. 

We had showers and both admitted we were sunburnt. My thighs were slightly red, and my right hip was sore. I had also burnt inside my belly button and a bit on my chest! Eric had burnt his shoulders and chest. 

We put aftersun on and just lay on the bed, too sore to move. We talked for hours, about our past and crazy things we had done and things that had happened to us.

He fell asleep about midnight but I couldn’t sleep. All the talking and reminiscing we had done had sent my head into overdrive.

I have got through quite a lot in my life, big things which Eric said made my life sound like a Hollywood film.  

I’m adopted and I spent years searching for my birth mother. I found her, met her and decided she wasn’t for me. My birth father died when I was 3, although he never knew about me. Last year I found his family and dropped the bombshell to them, but then had to deal with the questions and the what if’s from them.

Past relationships, when I was a teenager I was pretty horrible. A typical “primal wound” child, I did everything I knew my parents would hate. Leaving school and home to be with a boy they disapproved of. And then 3 years later having to escape that life and come home, admitting they were right all along.

I had the courage and strength to do those things at the time, but now if I had to do them again I don’t know that I could. I feel so numb I don’t know if I would have the motivation to even try. 

Sazzle would be ashamed. 

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