The day after

Feeling muddled.

Going downstairs after the night before, I was unsure if we were going to act like it never happened, or if he was going to be weird.

It was fine, we met with the other 2 girls downstairs as planned for breakfast and didn’t mention anything about our late night shower.

We went to McDonald’s for breakfast, the hash brown was amazing!

Sian was leaving mid morning to fly north, so we sat on the rooftop until it was time for her to leave. Chatting and discussing plans.

Once she left, Jeremey went downstaord and then Ashley went for a sleep. I stayed on the roof just taking some time to myself.  With staying in the volunteer house and then hostels, time on my own has been scarce and it was nice to just be by myself for a bit.

Jeremey then joined me on the roof and we started chatting but then he kissed me. We ended up in the bathroom again, the risk of getting caught making it more exciting.

For lunch we went with Ashley to China Town and ate here I had the day before. I had chicken fried rice and it was OK. 

We walked round the market for a bit and then along the streets. We found a crazy Chinese shop that sold toys and cartoon stuff. Ashley was so excited, she had actual tears when she saw this huge cat/bear thing from some thing she watched. With 4 floors, we were in the shop quite a while!

We wondered back to the hostel and sat downstairs watching TV for a bit. 

I went upstairs for a shower, and messaged Jeremey. He met me in the bathroom 5 minutes later. It made showers more fun!

When I got back to the room, Ashley had text to ask where we were. I said I’d had a nap but was ready for dinner. We all met downstairs but just ended up getting fried rice from round the corner and then eating it in the hostel. We watched a film, something with Brad Pitt in. It was quite good and I stayed until the end, although the others went up earlier.

I’m not really sure how I feel. Jeremey is sweet, he’s very quiet and I’m surprised by the difference between him normally and when we are alone. No one would ever guess he was meeting me secretly for sex in the bathroom! But he’s not my type, he doesn’t make me laugh or make my heart pound. Not that I’m looking for someone else to do that, but I feel guilty that I’m just using him for sex. But then I think he’s doing the same. He’s got plan’s to go to Thailand in a week, so there is definitely no future for us, even if we had felt that way. So then I don’t feel guilty to him, but I do to myself. 

I know I’m better than this, but right now, I think this is the level of emotional involvement I need, and Sazzle needs – none!

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